Lover, not a Fighter: 3 Ways Researchers Suggests We Can Reduce Disagreements In Our Relationship

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but they can still be stressful and challenging to navigate. Fortunately, researchers have identified several strategies that can help reduce the frequency and intensity of disagreements between partners. By implementing these techniques, you can strengthen your relationship and work towards a more harmonious future together.

1. Practice Active Listening: One of the most effective ways to reduce disagreements in your relationship is to practice active listening. This means truly hearing and understanding your partner's perspective, rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak. By giving your partner the space to express themselves fully and respectfully, you can create an atmosphere of mutual understanding and reduce the likelihood of disagreements. To implement this strategy, try setting aside dedicated time for active listening during your regular conversations. This can help you both feel heard and valued, while also improving your overall communication skills.

2. Use "I" Statements: Another way to reduce disagreements is to focus on your own feelings and experiences, rather than making assumptions or accusations about your partner. Using "I" statements, such as "I feel upset when..." or "I would appreciate it if...", can help you communicate your needs and boundaries in a non-confrontational way. This can help your partner better understand your perspective and respond in a more positive and supportive way.

3. Emphasize Shared Goals: Finally, it can be helpful to emphasize shared goals and values in your relationship. By focusing on what you both want to achieve together, you can avoid getting bogged down in petty arguments or disagreements. This can also help you both stay motivated and committed to your relationship over the long term. To implement this strategy, try setting aside dedicated time to discuss your shared goals and vision for the future. This can help you both stay on the same page and work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but they don't have to be a source of stress and conflict. By implementing strategies like active listening, using "I" statements, and emphasizing shared goals, you can reduce the frequency and intensity of disagreements in your relationship. This can help you both feel heard, valued, and supported, while also strengthening your overall bond. So the next time you find yourselves in a disagreement, remember to take a step back, breathe deeply, and try to approach the situation with these strategies in mind.

Reference:

1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last?: How to build trust and avoid betrayal. Simon and Schuster.

2. Rusbult, C. E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: A test of the investment model. Journal of experimental social psychology, 16(2), 172-186.

3. Houtson, S. A., Gordon, K. C., & Duffy, M. K. (2006). Bridging boundaries: The impact of collectivism and self-construals on enhancing positive and managing negative intercultural couple relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(3), 351-373.